The Importance of Being a Parent

Photo courtesy of Jude Beck (Unsplash)

Whether you are a parent or childcare provider acting in loco parentis, your job remains the same: to provide a safe, stimulating environment for the child or children under your care. But does our job stop there? Not by a long shot. I have always believed that being a parent is the most important job in the world, and that importance is reflected in the childcare I have provided for many years. How can you say that, I hear you ask, when there are doctors who cure all manner of diseases, scientists who make life-changing discoveries and philanthropists who fight for a better world?

Well, let me tell you…

Take a step back and think about who that doctor, that scientist or that philanthropist was before they made their mark on the world. Now take another step back and see what they were before they were a graduate, before they were a student. Before anything else, they were a child and it is in childhood where their journey of growth and development began - physically, emotionally and intellectually.

Now think of each and every child as a blank canvas. Their natural interests and tendencies will dictate the size and shape of their canvas but it is up to you, the parent or significant caregiver, to give them the tools that will enable them to paint their own masterpiece. Given the right tools, that does not mean that every child will grow up to be a genius who changes the world, but that does not dilute their importance both as an individual and as part of the wider society. It does, however, mean they have the chance to fulfill their own potential and paint the masterpiece that is right for them. Mathematician, artist...blogger! Whoever they are, we want them to be happy and successful, and to be a positive influence on society. So, whether they are cleaning the streets or providing life-saving medical care to those in need the most, they are all important.

So what can we do to help each child reach their potential?

Whether you believe that children should be able to run around and play freely all day, or that they should be schooled as much as possible in every way imaginable, it is possible to have the best of both worlds. Strike a perfect balance between the two approaches, find the right balance for each individual child and their needs, and you will see them thrive. What’s more, do it well and they will not realise they are learning even when they are playing! It may take a while for you to find the right balance but persevere and then watch your child reap the benefits.

Of course, academic education is not everything. A child needs to be emotionally well-balanced, as well as possess a strong moral compass and firm resilience to help guide them through life’s up’s and down’s. And there will be up’s and down’s in their life. As a parent we hope that we can shield them from any hurt and negativity in their lives but life is not a movie, and it is rarely black and white. But, whilst most of us are unlikely to live a perfect life 100% of the time, thankfully most of us are also rarely likely to suffer a lifetime of torture and sadness either. Whatever life throws at them, we have to teach our children to ride the waves and stay true to themselves. Fail or succeed, they must know that neither is relevant to their worth; they are worthwhile individuals regardless of how far they fall or high they rise. What is important is getting up each time the world knocks them down. If they can do that, they can succeed in anything.

But how do we teach our children to be comfortable in their own skin no matter what other people say or do, to be confident of their own ability and to strive to be the best version of themselves they could possibly be?

Choose your words and actions carefully, and remember…children absorb EVERYTHING!

Whether it is intentional or not, berate them enough times and tragically they will believe they are a lesser person. Inflate their ego too much and they will come crashing down when they realise not everyone worships the ground they walk on. Encourage them to face their fears and try new things, and let them fail once in a while so they can learn how to deal with failure in an effective way. Following the example of Christopher Pike’s character in Star Trek’s, Into Darkness, dare them to do better because if they know you believe in them, they will believe in themselves too.

Whilst our priorities should always be on our children, we must not forget about ourselves, as external and internal stresses will eventually have a knock-on effect on how well we can function as a parent or caregiver. As adults we often don’t set aside enough time for ourselves in order to recharge our batteries, so to speak, but this is hardly a healthy balance, so teach your child through example. The world will not end if you go on holiday once in a while without your laptop in tow. Those emails will still be there when you get back. Your family needs attention too, so give them the attention they deserve and give yourself the attention you need because one day, you will realise the most important things you have ever had in your life are the people around you and the time you were given on this earth.

So leave your mark on the world through your future generation.

Still not convinced being a parent is the most important job in the world?

Let’s think about society as a whole. It is made up of countless individuals all going about their daily lives. Police policing, carers caring...and you living your life as best as you can. Look at central government, all those politicians (uncorrupted, we would hope) trying to pass laws for the good of the nation and its people. Can you imagine what life would be like if the society we lived in cared not a button for those in need? Turned a blind eye to children needing our protection, looked away when someone inflicted pain and suffering on a harmless animal or ignored the destruction of our planet. I wouldn’t want to be a part of that kind of society, and I’m pretty confident nobody else would want to either.

So how do we avoid a society like that? How do we strive to make a better society?

Photo courtesy of Drew Hays (Unsplash)

The building blocks of a good society begin at home, in the values and ethics we instil in our children. Culture and differing societies may place a different emphasis on different things, but we all share the same desire for a world that works for us all, for our children to be safe and happy and free to be the best that they can be.

Let me end with one final note:

Accept there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Throughout your parenting journey you may take a few or many wrong turns. That’s life! Mistakes are unavoidable, as is hindsight, intentions are good but action is better. And whilst nature has not found a way to provide us with a user manual for each individual child, never be afraid or too proud to look for help and guidance. We only get one shot at being a good parent so make each and every child count.

Strive to be the best you can be, so your children will aspire to do the same for themselves.

Photo courtesy of Robert Collins (Unsplash)

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