Getting Rid of Those Nappies

Photo courtesy of Chen Lei (Unsplash)

The task of potty training your child can sometimes feel a bit daunting, especially if you are a new parent. Many think of it as hard work, as accident after accident, and a seemingly non-stop conveyor belt of soiled clothes. However, it can be much easier than you imagine as long as all the conditions are right. In order to decide if it is the optimal time to start potty training your child, you should think about the following things:

-         Is your child showing all the signs that they are emotionally and physically ready?

-         Are you able to give them the time and attention they need in order to achieve the goal you have set?

-         Have there been any significant changes to their life or daily routine?

The most obvious big changes are an addition to the family, a change in the family dynamics, or a house move, but even small changes can have an impact on children who are particularly sensitive. These subtle changes can sometimes seem insignificant to you, and therefore not worth your consideration, but they can be a really big deal for some children. An example of a seemingly subtle change is a move to a different bedroom. Perhaps your child was once sleeping in the same room as you, or they were with an older or younger sibling, but now they have a room of their own. This is all very nice, having their very own room, their own space…but now they sleep alone, so it is quite a big change, and a challenge for some children. So, let them settle into their new surroundings before you make another change.

There is no right or wrong age to start potty training your child. Indeed, the optimal age at which to start is still a debate amongst many people, to a certain degree. It very much depends on each individual child, but the general consensus is that children are likely to be ready for the transition around the age of 18-24 months. However, most parents start potty training their child when they are around the age of two.

Some parents prefer to skip the whole ‘potty training’ business entirely, instead choosing to just let their children master the skill of staying dry, in their own time and in there own way, with very little interference from an adult. I personally do not take this viewpoint because I think it is important a child is encouraged (only and only when they are ready) to master new skills, particularly necessary ones that are so basic. Not only that, using nappies longer than you have to is an unnecessary bind for you and your child, it may make it harder for them to master gross motor skills such as walking and running, and it is not particularly hygienic, especially when there is no real need for them to be in nappies longer than they have to. On top of that, some pre-schools and nurseries prefer children who are potty trained, so the number of your choices may be affected.

So, I personally would go ahead with the potty training, but only when your child is ready to begin.

Regardless of their age, it is important not to try to coax them out of nappies before they are ready, as this will only lead to frustration for you and stress for your child. It may also set them back emotionally, even when they are physically ready to be potty trained, if they have come to develop a negative association with the potty or toilet. For this reason, never make your child sit on the potty. They must want to sit on it themselves.

A general rule of thumb, for knowing the best time to start, is to let your child guide you. Listen to and observe them closely. When they are ready to ditch the nappies you will soon know.

A few clues you can look for in your child are as follows:

• They are aware when they need to urinate or pass a stool, or when they have already done so.

• They show an interest in using the toilet or potty.

• They want to wear ‘big boy/girl pants’. This is especially true if they have an older sibling they look up to.

• They are able to keep their nappy dry for long periods of time.

Once you have decided to ditch using nappies, it is easier to jump from nappies to pull-ups, and then to pants. But be confident you have chosen the right time because once you have begun, it is better not to stop as this will only cause confusion for your child. Be prepared for multiple accidents too, while your child learns how to negotiate the task of getting to the potty or toilet on time.

Now you have started potty training your child, there are a number of things you can do to increase the chance of your child staying dry during the day. These include:

• Help them get to the potty on time by encouraging them to use it at the times they are most likely going to need to do something. For example, first thing in the morning, half an hour to an hour after meals, and before bath time and bedtime.

• Look out for the ‘jiggle-dance’ as this is highly likely to be a sign they need to relieve themselves very soon.

• If they have an older sibling, you could introduce the potty by encouraging them to sit on it while their sibling uses the toilet.

• No matter how well you follow the potty training routine, it is likely there will be accidents, particularly in the early days. When this happens, do not scold them. Mastering this life skill is an important but sometimes difficult learning curve for them, and having accidents are just a normal part of it. Scolding them will simply form a negative association with the potty, the very thing you want them to use.

• When they do get to the potty on time, blow those proverbial trumpets. Not only is it fantastic for their self-esteem, it will encourage them to use the potty successfully again and again, in order to elicit the desired praise from you.

• Being dry during the day is much easier than staying dry through the night, so your child will probably still need to wear pull-ups for a while when they go to bed.

• You should always encourage your child to use the potty or toilet just before bedtime, but never wake them up in the middle of the night to use it again. This will be detrimental to their health due to the disrupted sleep, and whilst you may save on your washing, if you have ever had to deal with an overly tired youngster, it is detrimental to your health too! Pull-ups are the ideal solution here because they enable the child to psychologically feel and act as if they are wearing big boy pants, with the added benefit that during the night they still whisk away a lot of moisture, keeping them dry and comfortable until morning.

Although some children learn to use the potty seemingly overnight, others may take a little longer, but the length of time does not matter. All that matters is your calm perseverance. However, if you have any concerns surrounding your child’s progress with potty training, it is always advisable to seek the advice of your healthcare professional. You should also seek medical advice if an older child regresses back to needing to wear nappies during the day.